Dictionary

A friendly guide to terms and references commonly used on DIU Podcast.

The Love Guru: Jack is commonly referred to by this title due to his publications on the show’s Kao Lui Corner. The title is self-imposed as it is still up for debate if Jack is really qualified to be giving out such advice. Starting from episode 22, Jack returns to the show as the Self-Proclaimed International Love Guru, claiming that his three week trip in Asia qualifies him as an international expert on chasing girls.

“By Anonymous”: Jack loves placing quotes in his writing for the Kao Lui Corner. However, it’s also difficult to identify the original person who said the quotes. His compromise? To simply say the quote was originally said by (perhaps the most well-known author in history) Anonymous.

Life Coach: Jack claims he’ll be a great life coach on episode 2; suggesting that he has plenty of motivational quotes to offer. It is revealed on episode 10 that Jack’s own life coach/sensei is DIU Podcast super-fan, Seb.

The rock: Gavin presents Jack with a souvenir rock upon returning from his trip to Vancouver on episode 12. Gavin claims it is either from White Rock Beach, B.C., or just a regular rock from his front yard hastily grabbed before recording the episode. No one will ever know…

“That’s a Jack quote!”: a phrase commonly shouted out on the show whenever Jack says something somewhat insightful or controversial.

“Jack, [year]”: a phrase used by Jack after he feels he said something insightful; as if he were a walking-essay which requires constant embedded citations.

Jack’s predetermined life: Jack has mentioned countless times on the show that he intends to get married at the age of 28. He also plans to have his first child (who will NEED to be a boy) by the age of 30. His plans are often mocked on the show due to the rigid nature of his agenda.

Damon and Hayley: the names Jack has planned out for his future children, as discussed on episode 1. Gavin often references these names when Jack talks about how he would raise his (imaginary) kids.

“Jack’s boi, DT”: Jack first gives a subtle shoutout to DT (Donald Trump) on episode 2 when discussing the issue of censorship versus political correctness. The phrase is often shouted out whenever Jack mentions Trump on the show. On episode 26, Jack takes a political alignment quiz as we learn about his real thoughts on the politician.

“Here’s a perfect example,”: a phrase used by Jack to set up an example of a point he wants to make. Often times, the given example is based on personal experience with little macro-scale implications on the subject matter at hand.

“I can’t recall off the top of my head.”: a phrase often used by Jack when asked to provide specific stats or citations about the “facts” he references on the show.

Jessica: the imaginary character often paired with Gavin during the Kao Lui Corner segments when Jack is trying to prove his point. In the past, Gavin’s relation with her has included: cheating on her, marrying her, and being her “gay best friend.” Jessica is usually paired with Tiffany, another imaginary character, often associated with Jack.

Professor X: a pseudonym often used by Jack whenever recounting personal stories.

Road rage: Jack brings in the issue of women as terrible drivers on episode 6. During the conversation it becomes clear that Jack performs many aggressive driving maneuvers such as excessive speeding, radical lane changes, honking, high beaming, and yelling. Gavin suggests that Jack might have road rage; Jack caves in and acknowledges his road rage during episode 7.

Grinds my gears: Jack randomly started saying the phrase during episode 8, when discussing how annoying humble-braggers are. No one really knows why Jack started saying it, and I doubt we’ll ever find out (or that I’ll care enough to ask why).

Humble-brag: because Jack brought up the issue of annoying humble-braggers on episode 8, “Humble-brag” is usually shouted out when Jack humbly brags about something on the show.

Asia trip: refers to Jack and Kyle’s three-week long trip to Asia (Korea, Taiwan, and Japan) which coincided with the end of season one. The trip was initially discussed on episode 11 and then recapped on episode 21 upon their return.

Superior race: following the Asia trip, Jack returns with the reaffirmed mindset that white people are the superior race when it comes to getting girls (especially girls from Asia). This has fueled his rage as he claims on many occasions that “white guys are stealing our Asian girls!

Sheeps: Jack often refers to the mass populous as conformist – people who only follow trend and ideas of others – alluding to these people as sheeps (We’re all sheeps, except for Jack). Apparently, proper grammatical correctness for the pluralization of the beloved farm animal is also considered an example of conformity which is rejected by Jack.

Fuckboi: Jack brings in an article titled “How to Spot a Fuckboi” for the Kao Lui Corner during episode 29. During the segment, Gavin poses the question, “is Jack a fuckboi?” It has since been proven by many listeners that Jack is indeed a fuckboi.

’94 kids: Jack has always stated that kids born after 1994 are stupid; referring specifically to Generation Z. Perhaps his anti-post ’94 kid agenda has blinded him from the fact that he is only TWO years separated from 1994 (shout out to 1992 kids). Although, in Jack’s eyes, two years may be a substantial enough period of time to justify a generation gap.

“Beast gift”: a phrase used by Gavin in an attempt to hype up his gift for the DIU Podcast gift exchange. Is “beast” synonymous with desirable? Check out episode 32 to find out what the gift was.

The Love Guru Council: in an attempt to defend himself against Dr. Tang on episode 33, Jack retreats to his fantasy world where he claims there is an entire legion of Love Gurus. Starting from season two, Jack has also acknowledged DIU Podcast guests as Love Gurus in an attempt to justify the legitimacy of the council.

Jack’s hair loss: Jack brings in the issue of male pattern baldness on episode 43, claiming that he has been losing hair for the past three (or so) years. This has been one of the major sources for Jack’s loss of confidence which we experience throughout season three of the podcast. Jack believes that no girls will like him if (or when) he becomes fully bald.

Biotin: Jack begins taking these vitamin supplements on episode 45 as a response to his hair loss. Biotin is supposed to help hair regrow thicker. As a result, Gavin usually asks for a “biotin update” to determine if the vitamins are actually helping.

Instagram model: Jack complained about how his (lack of) height is limiting him from becoming a model on episode 44. As a response, Gavin takes on the rigorous task of operating the @Jackhsieh123 Instagram account in hopes of boosting Jack’s confidence (proving to Jack that he can be a model; through Instagram). Gavin posted pictures of Jack everyday for the next two weeks before Jack decided to quit and abandon his lifelong dream of modelling. This situation is later discussed on episode 50.

4AM backup: Jack brings in the issue of not having a phone on episode 52. In the discussion he claims that he is willing to help any of his bros – no matter the time. Citing that he has taken calls from his friends at four in the morning on many occasions. Jack C… true bro!